You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
