nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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