do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
