i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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