my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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