don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
