My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize