pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
