remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
