i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
