tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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