I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
