I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
