4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize