I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
