this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
