The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize