I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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