Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
