So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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