I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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