Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
