Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
