420 ftw
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
