Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
