my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
