he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
