Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
