No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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