You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
