it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
