she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
