thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
