His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
