There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
