my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she smelled like a LAN party
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
