wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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