they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
