Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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