My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
