Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize