I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize