Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize