I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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