I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize