FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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