i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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