Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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