Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
