I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
