I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
