forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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