They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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