I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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