You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My vagina is officially offended.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
