I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
