the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
