I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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