I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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