Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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