I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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